Sorry for this long post. I’ve delayed sharing my story as I’d hoped to share something uplifting, a “happy ending“ story. Sadly, no good news yet.
*First ectopic
In Feb 2021 I fell pregnant two months after we started trying. I was beyond ecstatic. How lucky were we to have a baby so quickly. I had some symptoms but no morning sickness or food aversion. There was very light spotting and lower back pains but I didn’t pay much attention as I read it was normal.
But it all went very wrong. Blood tests showed that hormones were not doubling normally. GP referred me to an early scan. Next thing I knew I was being rushed to hospital emergency. Ectopic in the left tube had ruptured and fluid had filled my abdomen. It was a life threatening situation. I must get emergency surgery to remove the tube to potentially save my life…
I was struggling to take it all in. Before this point I had never even had any surgery, let alone one that would not only end the pregnancy but leave me “broken” with reduced fertility… I waited for a long time and couldn’t stop crying. Occasionally I could hear baby noise or women in labour through the corridor. I have never felt so sad and lonely in my life. At 1am it was finally my turn to go. I remember vividly how cold the operating table was.
*Second ectopic- cornual
Three months later I fell pregnant again. Instead of hope and excitement, all I could feel was fear and anxiety. It’s sad that this amazing news will never be the same for us again.
Sadly, early scan at 6 weeks showed the pregnancy was “semi-ectopic”, it was in the corner where the removed left tube connected to the uterus. I must go to hospital emergency immediately for further tests.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. How could this happen to me again? Of all the places, how did the fertilised egg travel to the impossible place? I thought there was a sliver of chance, maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t too bad and the pregnancy could still survive… unfortunately it wasn’t. I received two doses of methotrexate - one in the embryo and the pain was excruciating … and prayed that it would work. There was even a heartbeat which made it totally heartbreaking.
Unfortunately blood tests on day 4 and day 7 showed that methotrexate didn’t work. I had surgery the next day.
*Miscarriage
After waiting six months for the methotrexate to completely leave my body, we started trying again and were lucky enough to get pregnant again in a few months. At a 5 week scan, I was so relieved to see that the embryo was in the uterus, and a tiny embryo and yolk sac were visible. I broke down and cried. But I knew I only made it to step two of a long and treacherous journey.
But something didn’t feel right. I had little symptoms, only fuller breasts and thicker belly, but no morning sickness or any bleeding.
Sadly, week 7 scan showed no heartbeat and minimal growth. Because my hcg was high and still increasing, doctors scheduled a third scan at week 8 to confirm. But I had fully prepared for the worst.
Week 8 scan sonographer couldn’t be sure whether an embryo was there. This coupled with small embryo at week 5, still increasing high hcg, but no bleeding, I was a bit of a mystery case. Doctor said it could be a molar pregnancy, a very rare form of chromosomal abnormality. I had to have a D&C so that the sample could be sent for testing.
It’s been 5 days since the D&C and results aren’t out yet. Except the first day, I’ve had almost no bleeding. My breasts still feel full and sore to the touch, as though my body hasn’t registered the reality yet. This makes me extremely worried either the surgery wasn’t complete, or the pregnancy was indeed molar and cells are continuing to grow… I am completely worried sick after reading everything about molar pregnancy and cannot stop imagining the worst…
Ectopic is 1-2 in 100; a repeat ectopic is 1 in 10. Molar pregnancy is 1 in 1000. Repeat molar is 1 in 100… Right now it feels like I have all the bad luck in the world and there’s only darkness ahead…