So on Wednesday 1sr September, I was out walking my puppy before starting work at 8am as an assistant manager In home bargains. Just before getting home I became all light headed and hot. Suddenly I collapsed and was rushed to a&e for blood tests and urine samples. By 11am I was told I was pregnant, which again I had no symptoms no nothing. By 4pm that world was ripped away, the doctors sent me for a scan to find that my 9 week fetus, 9 week!! Had developed In my right fallopian tube and had ruptured, which meant I need to have emergency surgery to remove it all. How at 30 years old, do you comprehend that? Currently I’m home on bed rest. How long was it before anyone you returned to work? How were you feeling in the long run? How was your partner. I have so many questions, yet so many unanswered. Please. If anyone could help me out, I’d be very grateful xxx
Dear Liddle,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. From your own words, I can tell what a frightening experience this must have been and I’m so sorry you have had to go through this.
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
With regards to returning to work, in general, after six weeks you should be able to return to most jobs from a physical point of view, but many women need to take more time off to help them deal with the psychological (emotional) impact of the loss of their baby and the frightening experience they felt being diagnosed with and treated for an ectopic pregnancy. If you need further time off, speak to your GP who will be able to organise this for you.
Partners all react differently, mine was very concerned about my health and openly admitted that he wasn’t as concerned about the loss of our baby as it was such early stages. We do have a mens space board for your partner to look at which has some different experiences.
Above all, be kind to yourself, remember all your feelings are normal at this stage. Allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally and we will be here for you to answer your questions and offer support as needed.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
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Hey,
Firstly I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I completely get the shock of it all is a lot to deal with. I’m 28 and had emergency laparoscopic surgery for a ruptured ectopic in my left tube on 27th August, 2021. So now am nearly 2 weeks post surgery and am healing pretty well physically. I had actually had a laparoscopy for endometriosis in early June this year so I knew what to expect even though for the ectopic I had no warning this time around.
At nearly 2 weeks on my incisions are healing well and my stitches are all dissolvable (which basically just means they fall out on their own). I still have all my stitches but from my previous surgery I believe they fell out around the 3-4 week mark. The hospital offered to sign me off work for 1 week which feels incredibly short as previously I was offered to be signed off for 1 month (but that was a private hospital) but I can work from home so believe this would be much longer if you were doing any kind of physical work. Do write a list of questions for your surgeon/doctor so you get some answers hopefully before the surgery so you know what to expect. I was told things like I could shower a day after surgery but cant bath or swim for 2 weeks. From my first surgery I knew your abdomen is filled with gas to help them access the places they need too. Most of this leaves your body but for me both times around I had pain in my shoulders and ribcage for a few days post surgery - peppermint tea is a lifesaver and really helped me with gas pain. Also for after your op I would recommend having a pillow or blanket to put between your seatbelt and tummy for the car ride home as it can be sore but you will have dressings on and hopefully been given pain meds in hospital etc too.
Sorry if this is all too much info/different to what you were asking - feel free to ask me anymore questions.
My partner was very concerned about me as I had internal bleeding but as hard as it is we have tried not to focus on the “what if’s”. It’s scary and overwhelming for all involved but you will get through it. It helped my partner to be able to just look after me after. Things like bringing me mint tea and watching movies together etc - we were also lucky the hospital let him in after surgery to visit. Do ask your hospital if this is possible - the early pregnancy unit at our hospital was very accommodating to let you have a visitor to support you too even with all the covid rules currently in place. I think the emotional side hit us a few days after surgery and we grieved together.
As Karen said some days are simply better than others. Physically I feel like I’m healing quite well - still a bit bloated if I do too much but haven’t felt like I needed pain meds for a good few days now and things have settled down. Also considering I had been bleeding for 6 weeks prior to the surgery (I was being monitored at the hospital but the ectopic was missed on the scans etc until the day I had surgery) I only bled for a few days after surgery and then that settled down. Emotionally its tough but I feel lucky we have friends and family we have been able to speak to about it all. It’s always different when they haven’t been through the same thing but as long as they are just there to listen it has helped us
If you have any other questions feel free to ask me.
I wish you lots of luck with your surgery and a speedy recovery <3 Take care of yourself x
I had around 5 weeks off work. I shouldn’t have gone back really but i wanted to. As i only had a week left of work before I was to leave anyway. I was a primary school teacher and was leaving at Easter. I couldn’t not see the children so i went back for one week to teach them.
Everyone is different but thats how long i needed with maybe another couple of weeks also.