My 8 week old foetus was growing in my Fallopian tube near my ovary. I saw it on the screen yesterday, it’s little heart flickering. Then I was rushed into surgery and it was all a bit of a whirlwind. Today I am recovering and grieving at home. I know this isn’t my fault but I am struggling to adjust to the heavy swollen feeling I am left with. I am feeling very sorry for myself and worried about the wounds getting infected. I am struggling to pass stools as it hurts to push. My shoulder is killing me and I am so tired but haven’t been able to sleep much. I have two lovely healthy boys and I’m grateful but it seems every time I have suffered a loss I feel lost. I had so much love for it already and it would have brought so much happiness to us all. It may never happen for me now. I have one Fallopian tube and I’m 40. Thanks for reading
Dear Heather,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Generally speaking, you should take it very easy for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time so please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others. One day you may be okay and the next you may be in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body signals. Pain and feeling tired are your body signals to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy diet drinking lots of water and resting. Whilst every care is taken of you when you have general anaesthetic, your muscles relax to.such an extent that we can often feel pain in places we did not expect after surgery. Gentle warmth to your shoulder and regular pain relief may help.
Constipation can be caused by some pain relief medications too. Make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids, and eating plenty of fruit, vegetables and fibre. If it is not resolving or your symptoms are worsening, you can also speak to pharmacist who will be able to advise you further.
Regarding trying to conceive again, when a person has only one fallopian tube and both ovaries, they are still able to get pregnant from an egg at the opposite ovary as an egg from one ovary can travel down the tube on the other side. The fallopian tubes are not attached to the ovaries and, at the point of ovulation, some very delicate structures called the fimbriae begin to move gently creating a slight vacuum to suck the egg toward the end of the tube it is nearest to (like lots of little fingers waving and drawing the egg towards it). So, if you have only one tube then there is only one set of receptors working and one set of fimbriae creating a vacuum and so the egg is much more likely to find its way to that tube, whichever ovary it is produced from. Conservative estimates suggest that an egg produced on the tubeless side manages to descend the remaining tube around 15 to 20% of the time. While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.
Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve and to heal both physically and emotionally
We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Thank you so much for replying. It was everything I needed to hear and more. Today I slept all day. I drank fluids and managed a shower. My partner changed the dressings on my wounds and the pain is sporadic now. Haven’t needed any pain relief today. Had lots of cuddles from my three year old who shows incredible emotional intelligence for his age. He doesn’t know what’s happened but understands how I am feeling somehow. I’m not sure what to do with myself. It’s quite lonely even though I have support. I have so much stress with things in my life at the moment. This pregnancy felt very real and special. I didn’t deserve it to end like this x