Hi, I had an non emergency ectopic on the 12/12/16 and my hcg level was too high for anything but tubal removal so my right tube was removed. The doctors said my other tube looked good and seemed confident. But truth is i am terrified, im 21 I don’t get why this happened to me, I can’t accept it , im trying but I keep thinking if I had a miscarriage then it would be something common something I can answer but falling pregnant and have a growing baby in my right tube?? I can’t stop asking why me? I don’t have the best luck with an alcoholic mother my nan rared me and now she’s got bipolar and my life is always downhill and then this happens it just doesn’t seem fair. My partner is so supportive and yesterday for the first time we talked about when we will start trying again in a year or so, I’m better than i was talking about it and seeing pregnant people and walking through baby aisles in shops but when will I start to feel normal again? I am so worried all the time, I just want a baby now and to know it’s in the right place.
Dear Lauren-x,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Dealing with any one of these is an ordeal putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame.
In time, you can get to a place where you feel comfortable trying again. When this us is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery. Take each day as it comes.
Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
Generally the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So thats 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time. Also, when a person has only one fallopian tube and both ovaries, they are still able to get pregnant from an egg at the opposite ovary as an egg from one ovary can travel down the tube on the other side. The fallopian tubes are not attached to the ovaries and, at the point of ovulation, some very delicate structures called the fimbriae begin to move gently creating a slight vacuum to suck the egg toward the end of the tube it is nearest to (like lots of little fingers waving and drawing the egg towards it). So, if you have only one tube then there is only one set of receptors working and one set of fimbriae creating a vacuum and so the egg is much more likely to find its way to that tube, whichever ovary it is produced from. Conservative estimates suggest that an egg produced on the tubeless side manages to descend the remaining tube around 15 to 20% of the time.
While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.
There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.
Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
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Stay positive and hope for good okk everything will be alright