It’s been four months since I had my ectopic and I have been trying for the past few months but it hasn’t worked. Everytime I get my period I’m broken and can’t cope with not being pregnant again. My husband just doesn’t get it, he doesn’t even reply to my messages and changes topic when I try to talk to him.
I feel as though I have no choice but to give up. I can’t carry on like this. I can’t even do my job properly and spend all my time crying.
I don’t know what to do any more.
Hi RosieWalker,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. We will all cope slightly differently following a traumatic event such as ectopic pregnancy. Experiencing ectopic pregnancy can be very isolating. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counseling. The charity, Mind, may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
It’s also important to know that men may grieve differently. Your partner may be experiencing emotions differently. It’s so important to keep the communication open. Journaling may be a way to help you work through your emotions around the ectopic and TTC, and you can share with your partner.
From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.
With warm wishes,
Michele
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Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
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Rosie, I have a husband like yours. It’s very frustrating. I feel like he is emotionally stunted. He won’t discuss it either. If I bring it up in bed he will just turn away from me! I couldn’t believe it the first time. Whenever I need a cuddle or a cry he just can’t deal with it.
Distract yourself and treat yourself to things you can’t do when you are pregnant! I’ve just started trying 4 months after the ectopic but I don’t feel fully recovered yet. I’d been feeling really great then someone at work mentioned about jobs for next year and I nearly cried all the way home. I wasn’t planning on working next year. Or this year either as I thought I’d be on mat leave like all of my friends! Hang in there. Your luck will change soon xxxxx