Hello all,
I would like to share my story as a contribution back to this amazing community here that helped me stay positive after my first ectopic pregnancy a couple of years ago. Reading about your inspiring stories and the way you stayed strong and handled your ectopic experiences, really kept me going. So, thank you so much for this!
Two years ago I was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy in what I think was four of the most torturing months of my life. I conceived naturally shortly after we started trying with my husband and we were both so excited. Since I realised I was pregnant, I knew something wasn’t quite right. I had some heavy bleeding that looked like period but with lighter red blood. I knew I wouldn’t get a proper period if pregnant. I then continued with bleeding (in so many variations) and “prune juice” spotting. It felt painful and really not like I would expect my first pregnancy to be. I didn’t even know what ectopic was at that point. When I first visited my GP, he told me that some women do have some light bleeding in the first three months of their pregnancy, so tried not to feel alarmed. But then when strong pain in my pelvis kicked in, I ended up in the A&E that confirmed my pregnancy but booked me for an emergency ultrasound. The sonographer couldn’t locate with clarity where the fertilised egg was, so I started having blood tests to determine the development of my HCG. Long story short, I was diagnosed with ectopic pregnancy and checked in the hospital every other day as part of conservative monitoring to start with. At home, I mostly rested as I felt exhausted, in pain and bled/spotted almost continuously for about 3 months. As advised by the doctors and based on my blood testing, I decided to go down the route of methotrexate injection. To my bad luck, the first dose didn’t quite work as expected as my hormones were reducing but not with the expected rate. So, I had a second dose and I still remember crying out on the day I was told that the first dose didn’t work well. I really didn’t want to have a surgery. I was so happy when the results came out and the second dose had worked. I had never experienced that much bleeding in my life after the second methotrexate dose. I felt so weak, sad and demotivated. I thought I would never succeed with a pregnancy again. I remember asking myself - are all pregnancies such a hard job? Do I really want to go through this again in the future in case it re-occurs? Following physical recovery, it was all about psychological recovery together with my partner to reconcile with what had happened to us and move on. It was difficult but time helped to get back on our feet and start hoping again.
After the required 3 months from the successful methotrexate treatment had elapsed, we started trying again. Both my husband and I were in a very positive mindset that sooner or later, whether we’d have to go through another one or more unsuccessful pregnancies, we would persist because we both wanted a baby so much! Three months later, I was pregnant again. I went early to the hospital for an ultrasound because of my history and my pregnancy was labelled as PUL (pregnancy of unknown location) as there was no conclusive view. This terrified me! After a few days and at the start of my second month, I had some light bleeding with a clot coming out that looked like a 50p size. I was so concerned that it might have been a miscarriage. My mum had 2 miscarriages and a stillbirth in her medical record before giving birth to my sister and myself and I thought that I might have a similar fate with her. After a couple of weeks I went for another ultrasound, convinced that it wouldn’t look good again. But there it was, the little fertilised egg in my uterus, and I still remember crying from happiness! What a unique memorable moment full of joy! One step closer to bringing a new life to this world! It was bliss! Everything went well from then on with some pregnancy implications including gestational diabetes towards the end but I was in very good spirit, full of energy and excitement for my little miracle. My little daughter is now 14 months old and I’m a proud mum that can confirm that it’s all 1000% worth it.
Please please please never give up, try to keep the fear aside and make sure you stay together with your partner in this journey. I know there are a zillion reasons to worry about but if you believe in it, it can happen. You can make it possible.
I’m sending you all my positive energy, my happy thoughts and a big hug to all you out there trying your best to nourish and take care of your marvellous vehicle, your body that can soon become a cosy home for your baby.
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I am hoping mine will be a story of hope just like yours