Hi, this month it’s a year since my ectopic, it happened on holiday in the US which made it even worse if that’s possible. I’ve had some counselling etc and feel in a better place but as Feb creeps up on me I feel like I’m falling apart again. We started trying again in Sept and no luck so far. I’m 40+ and when I fell last Feb we’d actually stopped trying as nothing was happening. Life is so cruel. We’re considering IVF at the moment but I am so tired. I feel as if all I do is pee on a stick (am I ovulating? And I pregnant) and watch a calendar. I don’t want to give up but equally I’m aware that I’m rapidly running out of time. My periods are regular as clock work and we have plenty of sex the week I’m ovulating but so far no joy. I’m exhausted. I reckon we’ll give IVF a go or two, and I’m having acupuncture at the moment too, and see how it goes. Any other advice gratefully received. Can’t believe I may never by a mum x
Dear Buddy071,
Anniversaries can be so hard to get through and we are all here to support you through this difficult time. We at the trust always recommend talking though your feelings is the best method to help through the difficult times and it is good to hear that you have counselling in place.
I very much understand that strong desire to conceive. I appreciate how frustrating it can be if it isn’t happening as quickly as we would like. Conceiving successfully can take time and can take some couples more than a year or so. The amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. In addition. having regular sex means having sex every 2/3 days throughout the month. Guidance from the UK’s National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence advises that having sex around the time when the woman ovulates causes stress and is not recommended. We here at the EPT suggest having intercourse 2/3 times between days 10-20 of their cycle when trying to conceive.
Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months. As you have been trying for a year, I would think it worthwhile speaking to your doctors who can look into any appropriate tests for you and your partner and investigate further.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
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