I don’t even really know what I’m looking for really. Maybe just someone who’s experienced something similar. It feels so lonely going through this, especially during lockdown.
I had my second dose of MTX yesterday as my levels went slightly up after the 7 day bloods. They are already fairly low - around the 200 mark but just won’t seem to budge. I’m just so scared that even the second dose won’t work and this whole ordeal continues to go on and on. It’s already been about 4 weeks since my first visit to EPU and I am so desperate for it to be over so I can try to move on rather than living each moment scared and anxious.
I went to EPU after bleeding heavily for 3 days and then getting a positive pregnancy test. They saw the tissue in my left fallopian tube but my HCG was only 44 so they sent me home. 48 hours later HCG had risen so I was given my first dose of methotrexate, day 4 HCG had more than doubled and then day 7 it had dropped by 1. I was given a second dose and day 4 it’d dropped by 10, day 7 it’d risen again to 111. I met this the consultant who basically said I could either have surgery or wait another 48 hours for repeat bloods and hope it went down. I was so anxious and it had been over 2 weeks since I first went to EPU and this was the start of Dec and I was worried I’d end up rupturing and being in hospital over Christmas (I have 2 children that I obviously didn’t want to know what was going on and I didn’t want them experiencing any trauma). I opted for surgery on the 6th Dec. It was actually better that I was expecting and I was home the same day. It was key hole so 3 small incisions, the ones on my sides healed fairly quickly but my belly button incision seemed to take forever and was very sore!
I hope my story helps you know you’re not alone. I’ve got my fingers crossed your levels go down. Xx
Thank you so much for replying and sharing your story. It’s good to hear that recovering from key hole surgery wasn’t too hard. I’m preparing myself for this if my levels don’t go down as I just want it to be over now too. I have a 20 month old and I just want to be able to focus on being with him rather than perpetually worrying all the time X
Oh krissy I am so sorry. I’ve been here and it is RUBBISH. My ectopic was diagnosed just after my sons second birthday in October and I had methotrexate which failed. I was gutted because my starting hcg was low and they said it works for 85% of people. My second dose was given and after a few days I was in pain so went in and after bloods showed an increase in my hcg they removed my tube. I was so relieved when they found out it was close to rupturing. It was devastating but the doctors were incredible and I just felt so grateful for the nhs and not having to pay for the grim ordeal. So I’d say just listen to your body.
The whole thing went on for about 4/5 weeks and was miserable. But the surgery wasn’t that bad and the recovery was ok. I was just totally gutted and stressed about it all. But now I’m 4 months on and feeling so much better. We are trying again and much more hopeful!
You’ll get there and I’m thinking of you and hoping it works. If it doesn’t and you have the surgery don’t be scared. You’ll be in safe hands! X
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. It makes such a difference knowing others have experienced the difficulty and are out the other side. I try to tell myself that no matter what, in another 4 weeks I’ll be in a different place of sorts. It just feels like time is standing still at the moment, and I hold my breath from appointment to appointment. I wish you so so much luck with trying again.
It is so so hard the waiting. I remember thinking I just want to be ‘not pregnant’ which was the opposite of what I truly wanted but I just wanted the ordeal to be over. Once it is you may feel a bit numb from it all but you will also feel safe. I felt a lot of relief when I knew it was over and I could say for certain I was safe etc. But I also felt so upset and pissed off with everyone around me being pregnant.