Hello all,
Ten days ago now I experienced sharp pains in my abdomen and nausea along with diarrhoea and completely blacking out. I was seven weeks pregnant.
Luckily my husband was at home and was there to call an ambulance. When the paramedics came to us, my blood pressure was 66/33. My husband said that they thought that I could be diabetic - it wasn’t until I was in the ambulance and told them about a sharp pain in my shoulder that they suspected what it could be.
On admission in to the hospital, I was greeted with many worried faces. The doctor quickly did a scan, which showed that I had severe internal bleeding. He showed me it and said that my left Fallopian tube had ruptured and would have to be removed along with the embryo. I signed the consent form and said “let’s get on with it” I am so incredibly proud of how strong I was at the time.
I then spent the next three days in intensive care followed by a couple of days in the gynaecology ward.
Then that was it, discharge and get on with your day to day lives. But, how having gone through such trauma can we begin to make sense of what has happened and rebuild our lives again?
I try and build routine in to my life, to eat and sleep well and do one thing that I enjoy each day.
Sometimes I don’t know what to think, sometimes I can feel a huge sadness in my heart. Sometimes I think about the positive stories that I have heard about on ectopic pregnancies and hold on to those glimmers of hope. Sometimes I wonder how I should be feeling about the loss of the baby. We hadn’t formed a huge attachment, as were realistic about what could happen during the early days. But then it is natural, we had begun to wonder whether it would be a boy or a girl, what type of personality it would have and what hair and eye colour.
So that is my experience… a little lost and damaged, wondering about the best way to recover emotionally and physically now and reaching out to others who have gone through something similar.