Ruptured ectopic

Hi everyone,

I am just after some advice please. I had a missed miscarriage in January this year which went on forever with the hospital cancelling surgery etc until I finally got it at the end of March. Then in July this year I thought I was miscarrying again as I was bleeding so went for blood tests and an external and internal scan at my EPU. They said my hcg levels were 2500 and something so wanted to do a scan as they said just because they were high doesn’t mean it’s viable, it could mean it’s growing somewhere else, like ectopic. At the scan they said everything had completely passed and deemed it a complete miscarriage and discharged me. 2 weeks later I went on holiday to Tenerife with my husband and 3 year old. Whilst there I was in extreme pain and had a really odd feeling of fullness and eventually was struggling to walk. I fainted 4 times over 24 hours and went to an A&E department on the island where I deteriorated quickly. They did scans and a CT scan and figured out that I was bleeding internally and had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. They told my husband I was critical as had bleeding in every space of my abdomen and needed emergency surgery at the hospital on the other side of the island. They told him to ring my parents and for them to fly out. I was blue lighted to the hospital on my own as my husband couldn’t come because my 3 year old wasn’t allowed in the ambulance. When I got there I was in and out of consciousness and they took me straight for surgery. When I came around I was in intensive care and they told me they’d had to remove my left tube, I’d lost 3 litres of blood and had 3 transfusions. The baby had been about 11 weeks in size. I am now anemic and have a severe folic acid deficiency which I am on medication for. This has been extremely traumatic for all of us all. My daughter saw it all as there was nobody to take her away from it and she worries about me fainting again and comes in to me in the night etc. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and am having therapy. My doctor signed me off for a month which is just about to run out and has just signed me off for another month (she wanted to do 6 weeks but I feel too guilty). My doctor and therapist have both said I’m not ready to go back. I work in a school and am often hit/kicked/ dealing with poor behaviour. The thing is, I’m feeling really guilty about having that much time off work and worried about what people with think, even though everyone has been really supportive. Just wondering if anyone else has been through something like this and can offer any reassurance? Thank you.

Dear Twinkle,

I am so sorry to hear of your losses and ectopic pregnancy.

From your own words, I am only imagine what a frightening experience this must have been and I am sorry you have had to go through this, especially as parts were on your own too and being in another country where English isn’t the first language. That is just an immense amount to take in and process.

You must not feel guilty about having time off work. You have been dealing with the trauma of a life threatening emergency, recovering from the surgery, as well as anaemia and the loss of your baby. You are also trying to protect and heal your 3 year old. You are also Having counselling (which I absolutely recommend you continue with), but counselling sessions can be exhausting too.

You really will need additional time to process all of this and it is absolutely right that you do so. We would usually recommend 6 weeks off work post surgery. At the moment you only have 2 more additional weeks to recover from the huge ordeal you have experienced. From what you have said, I would also recommend you having more than 8 weeks. If you return before you are ready, you will only end up being off sick again and likely take even longer to recover.

See how you feel but you must not let guilt of missing work be the reason for your return. It must be because you feel emotionally and physically ready to do so. I strongly recommended that you extend your note if you do not feel ready to return to work when this note runs out.

Please be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally,

We will be here for you for as long as you need,

Sending much love and gentle hugs,

Karen x

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