Recovery taking forever

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1

I need to rant.

It’s been over three months since I had surgery to remove my pregnancy and fallopian tube.

Things are getting better but I still have niggles of pain and am still struggling. Can walk for a few minutes at a time and bending is sore/tricky. Mentally, I have a lot of healing to do and now have a counselor to talk to.

The aftercare post-surgery has been non-existent for something that a lot of women go through. A brief discharge summary, a few painkillers and off you go. Even getting antibiotics while in severe pain with an infection was an ordeal in itself.

I know everyone is different, and expect I’m healing slower than some but I was under the impression, that at least physically, things would be back to normal by now. But still having pain. Still off work. Still relying on my husband to put my socks on for me. Still can’t get past this horrible event. It feels like this limbo is my life now.

What’s a realistic timeframe for things to settle? I could be overthinking but keep feeling like I’m not recovering well and it’ll affect my pregnancy chances in the future, as well as having other long-term pain issues. Argh.

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Dear Ell,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss,

I am glad you have found these forums and have a safe space to rant. Sometimes it’s what we need.

Some people take around 6 weeks to recover from surgery, whilst others will take up to 12 weeks and even longer.

It is normal to experience some pain following surgery and we all experience pain differently, but if it isn’t improving or if it is worsening, please seek medical advice.

I am glad you are speaking to a counsellor about the emotional ordeal you have been through. We know that 30% of people who experience ectopic pregnancy will go on to develop post traumatic stress symptoms so it is important to get the help and support you need.

In the meantime, I would advise taking any regular pain relief as directed by your doctor and even something like applying gentle warmth to the area may help. I would suggest keeping a pain diary noting when the pain appears, the intensity on a scale of 0-10 and anything that helps the pain eg resting, hot water bottle, paracetamol etc. Visiting your doctors with this information helps them to assess how best to manage your symptoms.

Sending much love and gentle hugs,

Karen x

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Thank you Karen for some reassurance and pain diary advice.

I have arranged another appointment with my GP to check that I’m healing properly and no further damage.

It’s so frustrating that it’s taking forever to get back to normal though. It feels like I’m just waiting to move on with my life. Mentally, I understand this will take time and I’m still very tearful talking about things, and have been very low the last few weeks. The physical issues aren’t helping and is a constant reminder of what’s happened.

I generally feel really guilty that I’m not back at work or able to help much with housework etc. I expect others are now thinking I’m dragging it out at this point and I’m starting to wonder the same. :pleading_face: