Recovering after emergency surgery

Hello,

I’m 4 weeks post surgery, after a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and losing a tube. The whole events leading up to it and day of the rupture/emergency surgery are something I’m finding so difficult to process, having flashbacks of events of the day, anxiety and panic that I’m still bleeding internally, frustrated at where I am in recovery and still not back to work.

I’ve been given so many answers by different people on length of recovery but worry that I’m taking too long off work. I’m still struggling with walking any distance, some days even a shower and getting dressed floors me. Feeling physically and mentally exhausted. I know this will get better with time and I know I’ve still different hurdles ahead when it comes to hopeful a future pregnancy and the worries attached to this.

Although I’ve good support, I feel totally alone and stuck in the bubble of what happened that day as I was by myself. I’ve not got a period yet and again unsure when this will return but would like some normality to know everything is ok with it.

I wondered how long it took others to recover? I know everyone’s different but just looking for reassurance and comfort in others x

Hello,

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

It’s just hard to put into words isn’t it.

I know what you mean when you say you feel alone, it’s difficult to express how you feel and talk about it with friends/family that haven’t been through it.

I really don’t think there is a set time for recovery everyone is different.

Be kind to yourself. What you have been through is traumatic.

After my first ectopic that ruptured I made the mistake of going back to work after a week. I wasn’t ready. I used to wake up in the night panicking that I was going to die. That I was back there being rushed into emergency surgery.

I’m on my third ectopic now just recovering from my 3 laparoscopy. I have definitely learned that it’s ok to take as long as I need to recover physically and to go easy on myself.

This time I’m going to take as long as I need and truth be told I’m still recovering from the first. I’m so much more educated on ectopics now and if I could give anyone any advice it would be to really love yourself and listen to what your body and mind needs. There is no time scale.

Let your body heal and do what it needs to do and remember it’s ok not to be ok but it does get better I promise

Here if you want to talk more xx

Hi March 20,

I’m so sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnancy and loss. Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is both a physical and emotional trauma. The boards here are filled with women and men who are, sadly, bound by these experiences. These are safe spaces for you to share your thoughts, ask questions, and vent. They are also filled with positive stories which can help heal the pain and move you forward.

Our physical recovery is often quicker than our emotional recovery. This can especially be the case when we encounter others’ pregnancies or comments about our own. It is very natural to feel a mix of emotions when we see other people with pregnancies and children. We can feel happy for them, but we also are grieving our own loss and what might have been. Please be kind to yourself.

It may sound simple, but I found journalling a good way to put my thoughts on paper and my husband to do the same so we could process them individually and share them with one another. Each of our experiences is unique, even if it is shared.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can help the healing process. We are more than happy to talk with you by email or telephone and answer any questions you may have or listen to your experience. In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help, and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. The charity, Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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