We have been trying for just over two years and conceived four times. We have no living children. I was totally naive about how my body works I knew nothing about MC’s or EP.
October 2006, had a scan at ten weeks, saw our baby in the right place, however our beannie had no heartbeat … we were told i had had a missed miscarriage. The pain was unbearable as i had been feeling so sick and had no idea that anything was wrong.
In May 2006 we discovered we were pregnant again, though spotting at 8 weeks so we had an early scan again our baby had no heartbeat.
Dr basically said that we had to suffer third miscarriage before we would be referred for any tests which i found unbelievably cruel.
DH and i decided to pay privately for tests which gave us hope as all tests came back normal, though if they had found something then at least we would have had a reason…not knowing why is the worst feeling, had i done something wrong.
So when we found out in we were pg again we were full of optimism and hope. The consultant agreed to scan us at 6 weeks and we were over the moon to see our little pip in the right place and little heart beating it seemed like our luck was changing. All this changed 2 weeks later the 8 week scan showed litte pip had stopping growing and was now sleeping. Absolutely devastated, the pain was unbearable.
I feel like a failure, my body has let me down, each time i have had medical management and had to pass my little angels, I wouldn’t accept any pain killers as i really wanted to feel all the pain as i felt it was my punishment for not being able to carry my babies safely.
As we now had 3 miscarriages we were referred to the miscarriage clinic, and in February 2007 they carried out more tests …all normal… how can i be normal i have lost 3 babies?
March 2007 discovered we found out we were PG again this time i just knew something was wrong, went to A&E with my concerns and was told flippantly not to be so stressed and there was no chance that it was EP. Was admitted into hospital later that week with EP rushed for emergency op on 10th April.
Sent for a lap and dye which revealed right tube was removed left tube appearing normal.
So here we are, in the madness of ttc, hoping each month it’s our turn, that our luck will change. Ironically been referred to fertility specialist…up to now all the consultants have said there’s nothing wrong with our fertility as we have conceived four times in just over 2 years!
In my quest for info after EP i found this web site only wish i had found it two years ago. No on can take away the pain and the suffering but reading the experiences of others definitely does help to give you hope.
xxx