My story of recurrent pregnancy loss

Sorry in advance for the length of this post! This is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this but I like the idea of sharing experiences and getting peer support from one another as I understand pregnancy loss particularly in the early weeks is unfortunately such a taboo subject.

My husband and I started trying for our first baby in December 2016 and were extremely lucky to conceive first time. Unfortunately the pregnancy ended with a spontaneous miscarriage at 7 weeks. We were devastated but accepted fairly quickly that it just wasn’t meant to be at this time. We continued trying and again were lucky to conceive 4 months later, however we had yet another miscarriage- this time the miscarriage was much harder to accept as it was a twin pregnancy. One baby we lost at around 5-6 weeks and the other baby later at 9 weeks pregnant.

After this miscarriage my cycles got much longer, up to a long 9 weeks which was a struggle to cope with in itself. I have polycystic ovaries so I was put on Metformin and was exploring other medication to help assist regular ovulation. Therefore in March 2018 I tried Clomid and was very lucky to fall pregnant first time on that. However from the day of finding out of the pregnancy, my gut instinct told me something wasn’t quite right. In the just over two weeks of knowing about the pregnancy, I had right sided cramps to start with which settled followed by bleeding. The bleeding lasted 3-4 days. Once it stopped I had sharp, shooting pains in my right side of my uterine/pelvic region which didn’t improve with rest or change of position. I also had shooting pains in my back passage when having my bowels open. I just knew this wasn’t right. I called the Early Pregnancy Unit after trying to manage for 3 hours with the pain at home and went in for review. That evening I had emergency surgery to remove the ectopic pregnancy as well as my right fallopian tube. They told me prior to surgery they will save the tube if possible however when I woke up from the general anaesthetic they told me the tube was ‘fit to burst’ and if I had left it up to 48 hours it would have been a totally different story. I was about 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I don’t want to worry anyone with any part of my story but I hope I provide comfort to at least one person/family that have been through a similar experience to state that you are not alone, and also if you ever have that gut instinct or symptoms you are unsure about (it might be normal) but get checked out straight away. Don’t ever feel like you’re being a nuisance.

So now I sit here just 3 days on from the surgery to remove the ectopic pregnancy and my right fallopian tube, looking back at the past 17 months and feel blessed we can get pregnant but devastated and upset that we have now lost 4 babies. Also terrified for future pregnancies as what should be an exciting time now becomes a scary time not just physically but more emotionally. It feels like we’ll never hold our very wanted and already extremely loved baby in our arms. Any words of wisdom/support, hearing your experiences, ways of getting through would be appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read my long post!

Dear Makeawish,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses. To experience one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

I presume from the medications that you have mentioned that you are already under the care of fertility specialists, if not I would ask your GP for a referral.

Importantly, be kind to yourself, allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love,

Karen x


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