I was discharged from hospital yesterday a few hours after key hole surgery to remove my Fallopian tube. I’m finding it really difficult to understand. I feel confused, upset, angry. The ultrasound showed that my baby was 9 weeks & perfectly healthy. Other than growing in my Fallopian tube. I’m finding that alone very difficult to cope with. Seeing the heart beating on the screen is playing over & over in my mind. I keep reading that most baby’s are not viable to begin with…but mine was. It was just trying to grow in the wrong place. I’m also finding it so difficult that there’s no obvious reason why this happened. I’m sending all my love to all of you that are going through this xxx
Hi,
I am so sorry that you’ve had to go through this.
I felt exactly the same! I had an ectopic with keyhole surgery on 7th march. I was only 6 weeks but it had a perfect little heartbeat and was healthy.
I feel like that stuck in my mind for the first weeks, I couldn’t understand why my baby was fine but in the wrong place.
I promise you that time is a healer and things will get better. I have found the support group through this trust really helped me to understand and take it all in.
Sending you lots of hugs and well wishes while you recovery both physically and mentally.
Leah xxx
Hi Leah
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. And for sharing your story.
I’m so sorry that you have also experienced this. It’s so difficult to get my head around. It feels surreal almost.
I think I need to look into a support group or something. It can be a comfort to know that I’m not alone. So thank you xx
Hi Lisa,
I am so sorry this has happened to you and I know exactly how you feel.
9 days ago I was diagnosed with a heterotopic pregnancy, 7 and a half weeks back then. Both babies were healthy, the exact same size and with strong heartbeats and I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I had to have one of them removed along with my left tube.
It’s killing me knowing it was still thriving in there and we had it removed. I understand that it wasn’t in the right place but how was the baby so healthy then?
What’s worse it’s people telling me I should be happy I still have one baby, like if one could replace the other and I hate that.
I am so sorry this isn’t very helpful but it’s good to know there’s someone else feeling like I do.
Dear Lisa, Leah and rsrp82,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses,
Whilst most ectopic pregnancies haven’t has the chance to develop properly, some will develop further than others. Some ladies, including myself, won’t even be told how developed the baby is, although my ectopic pregnancy was 10 years ago now so practice has changed. Devastatingly, The baby will not develop properly past the early stages and in developing and increasing size poses significant health risks to mum.
I too didn’t have any risk factors for ectopic pregnancy and never did find the answer as to why it happened to me. It is very common for us to blame ourselves and I certainly felt lots of guilt around my ectopic pregnancy, however there is nothing that can be done to prevent them. Ladies from the bottom of my heart this is not your fault.
Above all be kind to yourselves, allow time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
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Ladies
I completely understand how you feel. My ectopic was in November, the baby was almost 6 weeks and the consultant said it had a strong heartbeat and blood supply. In the 3 days between my bloods being checked the 1st and 2nd time, the hcg levels had more than trebled. It always plays on my mind that if it had just made it down the tube it could well have been a perfectly healthy baby and I’d be nearly 6 months pregnant by now. Other than being over 35, I’d no other risk factors and had delivered a healthy baby 9 months earlier.
Aside from losing my precious baby, losing 30% of my fertility at age 39 has been a huge kick in the teeth as time is not on my side. We’re trying again and I’m trying to stay positive but the fear that my lost baby may have been my last chance to give my little girl a sibling is always there. I’m blessed in that respect to have her but I always wanted a big family. Unfortunately I just met my hubby a bit too late for that.
NovemberRain