Is it too soon to return to work?

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1

Hi everyone,

I just really need other people’s thoughts as at the moment I don’t know what to think.

So I had keyhole surgery to remove my left tube on the 12th Jan as I was already bleeding from the ectopic pregnancy (I was only 5.5 weeks). My husband and I had been trying for 18months before this.

Since the operation, I’ve been on 2 different courses of antibiotics, one of a skin infection and another for an internal infection.

I am not in much pain now other than some random twings and cramps but struggling more with my emotions, dizziness and my fatigue. I have chronic fatigue syndrome so this has triggered a flare up.

On 26th, it was my birthday but it was also the day I needed to do a pregnancy test to check if my hormone levels (it was in my discharge notes to do one). The test came back negative. But I felt depressed in the morning so my husband took me to a couple of shops. I was able to do some shopping with walking slowing and having my husband to hold on to but needed regular breaks and had a few moments where I went dizzy and have my husband stop me from falling over.

I’m having a talk with my work on Friday about when I am thinking of returning. I work for a chairty and my role works with foodbanks so can be rather busy but I am able to work from home. I am two minds of what to do. I am still having moments where I blame myself for the EP, have doubts that we will ever have a child and just feel depressed plus I’m still having moments of extreme tiredness and dizziness. I feel if I go back to work too soon I will make myself worse. But at the same time, I am wanting to get back to work to help take my mind off things and I’m worried work will jugde me for managing some shopping but not being able to sit at a desk.

I’m fortunate that my workplace offer full sick pay but I am worried that they will think I’m taking full advantage of it.

What was everyone else’s experiences with returning back to work?

Thank you for your time.

(Sorry for the long message)

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Hi Kittysam42,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. What you have experienced is physical and emotional trauma, and recovery, of each, takes some time. It’s so important to be kind to yourself right now and take the time that you need. Every woman’s journey is so different. Often, the physical healing happens before the emotional. Some days are good, some not as good. Little by little life begins to feel a bit more normal. Not that we forget, but we grieve and the intensity of early days passes.

If you are able, I’d have a conversation with your manager. It might be you are able to start back a few days a week. Some women find the distraction of doing other things helpful, but equally, it’s important to monitor the toll on your body and mind. Sick time is also very useful if you need additional time. You are not taking advantage of it; you have been through incredible trauma.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can help the healing process. We are more than happy to talk with you by email or telephone and answer any questions you may have or simply listen to your experience. In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. The charity, Mind, may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/.

Be kind to yourself in your recovery. We suffer both physical and emotional trauma through ectopic pregnancy, and it can take some time to feel back to ourselves. Please know we are here for you for as long as you need.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

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Hi there

It is totally understandable everything you are feeling.

I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy on 11th December and I have just got an extended sick note till end Feb.

I have PTSD, there are times when I feel totally fine but then I have triggers and flashbacks. I wasn’t sure whether to go back start Feb or get an extended note. I have been with my company 11 years and I am never off sick, like you, I felt guilty for not going back, but my company have been very understanding and I am sure yours will too.

I still do normal things - go shopping, go for a coffee etc, even though you are on sick leave it doesn’t mean you have to stay at home! It is good for my mental health to get out of the house, and have some me time. It is important to take time for you & don’t rush back.

Hope it all goes well with work!

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Debs_k44:
Hi there

It is totally understandable everything you are feeling.

I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy on 11th December and I have just got an extended sick note till end Feb.

I have PTSD, there are times when I feel totally fine but then I have triggers and flashbacks. I wasn’t sure whether to go back start Feb or get an extended note. I have been with my company 11 years and I am never off sick, like you, I felt guilty for not going back, thinking I ‘should’ be better by now and fully recovered but my company have been very understanding and I am sure yours will too.

I used to think being on sick leave meant not leaving the house but I understand now you can still do normal things and that’s okay - I go shopping, go for a coffee etc. It is good for my mental health to get out of the house, and have some me time. It is important to take time for you & don’t rush back.

Hope it all goes well with work!

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Hi, What did you end up deciding with regards to returning to work?

I started working remotely 6 days after laparoscopic surgery to remove my ruptured tube (my surgeon had said I should be fine to return to work ‘in a few days’ as long as I didn’t work somewhere really physically demanding. (I’m in the US… so that probably impacted the advice I got) But even working on my computer from home was really really hard. (Exhausted and get lightheaded when taking on calls etc) It is now almost 6 weeks later and I’m still struggling with the exhaustion and lightheadedness. Still working on being able to walk ~0.5mi without almost collapsing. (Pre-surgery I was in great shape and could run 10 miles) Like you, I also have a history of CFS (or something very similar) although it hadn’t flared up in many years - but this feels similar and whenever I push (ie leave the house or do light chores) I spend the next day or so completely exhausted and recovering.

Anyway I guess if anyone else is reading this - take the time off. I can’t help but think that if I had gotten better advice from my doctor and took 2-3 weeks off up front, I might not still be struggling this much so long after surgery. Your body really does need time to heal.

Best wishes to all. Sorry we are all going through this.

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I am pondering the same question.

I’ve had my fallopian tube removed 3 weeks ago after it burst and led me to emergency with 0,5 l of blood inside my abdomen. First week I didn’t feel like walking even up the stairs, second week I started to do more house chores but always feeling pain and exhaustion after just a little work and this third week it was some activity one day and exhaustion and depression the next day, alternating.

I’ve tried 4 hours at work on Friday as my boss is doing everything alone and he is exhausted too, otherwise I would wait. After getting home I’ve had to sleep 3 hours in the afternoon and then my normal 8 hours at night, yesterday I was mostly reading a book and watching stuff, but again had to sleep like 12 hours. And tomorrow I’m going to work at least for 4 hours again. Strangely I experience the lightheadedness too when making calls at work, so I will see how it goes tomorrow.

I am determined to work part time next week to get used to it, because I’m officially starting full time on June 1st and can’t postpone because of some government funding.

I just feel anxious I will not be able to do 8 hours of work even when sitting in front of the computer and making calls, my brain just stopped working after even 3 hours on Friday and my abdomen feels like it’s too weak to hold me up in the chair.

I’m not in UK so different rules for sick leave, but I mainly don’t want to let my boss down.

It’s so frustrating, I know the doctor said it’s best to wait for 6 weeks but I hoped I would be fine in 3.

I know everyone is different, but more stories about when people got back to work after EP would be appreciated.

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I know this is an old post so I might not get a response but I have been lightheaded and dizzy from week 1 to now at 3.5 weeks I had hoped it was getting better but it isn’t. I wondered how long it took these symptoms to subside for you both please?