I’m really struggling to cope with how I’m feeling over the loss of my baby. I can’t take the pain of it. It sits with me all the time and I just want it to be gone. The hurt I feel when I think about what could have been is too much. I dont know how I’m supposed to deal with this forever. My heart is broken and feel part of me died when my pregnancy was removed. I got 3 days of happiness which has been replaced by a lifetime of pain. How is this fair. Why am I being punished. I can’t even see what I want for thr future because this nightmare has taken over my life. I can’t take this anymore, I wish I could turn back the clock and make the decision not to try, I obviously would have been a terrible mother if life took my dream away
Hi Sarahjones1,
My heart desperately goes out to you. We are so sorry you have suffered so much and you are not alone - we are all here and will do our best to help you through as friends.
First, it’s so important to know there is nothing you did to cause ectopic pregnancy, nor is there anything we can do to prevent one. This is not your fault. And I’m very sorry your friend’s comments are not considerate of all you have just gone through. Ectopic pregnancy brings up a range of emotions, and you are allowed to be feeling as you do. There is no right timeline for recovery as we are each so unique, and during this time, it is so important to put yourself first and look after yourself. There is help available.
I can understand how the pain is so unbearable that you want it to stop. For me, I found that writing in a journal did help to process the many elements. I found myself recalling elements of the hospital and recovery, and I found myself thinking about the family and friends who reached out with support. It helped me to get the words out of my head, and to eventually share with my partner and close friends.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counseling. The charity, Mind, may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/.
Please know that we are here for you anytime - to ask questions, to share or just to vent.
With good wishes,
Michele
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
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Knowing what I could of had is too much to bear. I dont know if I can do this anymore and I’m not willing to feel this day after day. Life hates me and does not want me to be happy. I used to think someone out there was watching over me but now I know that’s wrong. Why do I bother doing anything. It just gets ripped away and I obviously don’t deserve to have anything wonderful. I am stuck with this memory and nothing anyone can say is going to make me feel better. I just want to run away and never come back. I hate my life and had enough of it. I
All my support, Sarah! I know how you feel. Many of us have felt like just like you, and I can assure you that you are going to be OK. Stay strong and don’t lose hope
Hey Sarah,
My heart goes out for you. I am deeply sorry for your lost! I, myself, know exactly what you are feeling and experiencing. I went through an EP as well on 4/5/2021 and it was one of the most HARDEST thing I ever went through. We are here for you sister. It’s okay to talk with a therapist. I start my session this following Wednesday. My heartaches for you because I know how it feels to want to run away and hide from the world. Our babies are precious to us. So it’s normal to feel betrayed by life. Once again, I’m so sorry dear. I hope all is well and I hope you get to have your rainbow baby soon! It’s not over dear… there is hope 