Heterotopic Pregnancy

This is my first time posting. I just feel very lost and alone. There doesn’t seem to be much information/awareness out there about heterotopic pregnancies.

So from the beginning… At 6 weeks I went for an early private scan to check that everything was okay with baby, at this scan they told me that I had an ovarian cyst measuring 11cm x 9cm x 7cm. This cyst was hiding everything other that my womb where they could see a viable pregnancy and a heartbeat. I was told I would need to be seen by my GP but that it didn’t seem to be anything to worry about.

I spoke to my GP who sent me straight to the gynaecology ward at the hospital, where they did another scan, they told me that surgery at this early stage may be harmful to the baby and so I was to wait until 12 weeks where they would reassess the size of the cyst.

At the end of may I got a searing pain under my ribs and up into my shoulder, i called the gynae ward and was told to try to manage the pain with paracetamol. This pain lasted for a few days but as I had been told to try and manage myself I just tried to sleep it off. A week after the first pain I experienced the same sensation, this time it was worse and I knew I needed to be seen, so we went to A&E. I was taken back to the gynaecology ward where they scanned me again and found free fluid in my abdomen, assuming that the cyst had ruptured. I was taken into surgery.

When I woke up from the surgery they told me that they had removed the cyst but also that they had found a second pregnancy, this time ectopic, in one of my fallopian tubes. I had experienced a heterotopic pregnancy and none of the staff had ever seen this before. As the pregnancy had ruptured they had had to remove the tube.

I’m still recovering from the surgeries (physically and emotionally) but I am currently 14 weeks and as of our 12 week scan, the baby in my womb is healthy (by some miracle), but I still lost one of my babies. I am trying to cope with this loss whilst still holding on for the baby that has survived.

What I am struggling with the most is that no one seems to realise that we have suffered a loss. Even my partner just sees the situation as “at least the baby we knew about is okay”. Obviously, I am so grateful that I am lucky enough to still have a pregnancy after all of this, but I think it is valid and normal to still grieve. Am I just too sensitive? I see this as a twin pregnancy and one of the babies just didn’t make it far enough.

Dear DB,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss,

You have every right to grieve for the baby lost to ectopic pregnancy. Whilst trying to be kind, my friends and family never truly understood how I felt following my loss either, I think as ectopic pregnancy loss is usually diagnosed in early pregnancy, others do not fully understand the loss that is felt.

You have friends here who understand and it is absolutely ok to grieve for the loss of your baby whilst remaining pregnant.

We will be here for you to hold your hand through this for as long as you need.

Sending much love and gentle hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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