Ectopic Recovery

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Hi,

I’ve used this forum so much over the last month to read about other peoples experiences, and found it really comforting when I’ve found similarities so hopefully my story can help someone.

I found out I was pregnant maybe about 4 weeks but I had spotting straight away. Spotting turned to more bleeding and the early pregnancy unit were able to see in a scan and bloods it was ectopic. I tried hoping for my HCG to come down naturally but that wasn’t happening and they rose little by little. I was able to be part of a trial and for a larger dose of Methotrexate (100mg instead of the 80mg I was supposed to have) in the hope the larger dose might be more effective. My HCG at day 4 decreased by 1 and at day 7 had risen by 40. I came in for a scan and bloods and everything looked the same so decided to wait another 48 hours. Back in and bloods showed a decrease in HCG by 34%!! Yay!! So happy it was working!

Literally the next day I had this terrible dull constant pain in my stomach. It was on the side of the ectopic but really all over and in my back. I knew it wasn’t right and we went in. The ectopic had grown significantly with blood, blood in my abdomen and I needed surgery.

I had my left Fallopian tube removed on Friday (30th of April). Surgery went as expected, my other tube and both ovaries looked healthy. They discovers some level 1 endometriosis (lovely little icing on the cake!) but womb everything looked healthy.

I was home after 2 nights in hospital and I’m ok, the pain isn’t too bad in recovery, I’m pretty bruised and just kind of fragile feeling.

I feel like my recovery so far has been so focussed on the physical and I’m not sure how to start un peeling the emotional impact, I’m maybe still in a bit of shock about it all. I’m not sure how to feel. I didn’t ever really get to have the excitement of being pregnant, it wasn’t going well from the very get go but I don’t know how to feel about the loss now either. Then I think about when we can try again which will be 3 months from my injection and I think although the chances are slim, what if this happens again… such a horrible time of so much unknown.

Not the brightest story to share but I would say the surgery hasn’t been as scary as I thought and my recovery hasn’t been too bad either. Hopefully that’s a comfort to someone x

If anyone has positives or suggestions on how to start unpacking how I’m feeling I’d really appreciate it x

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Dear Aimee,

You have been through a lot in such a short space of time. It does not surprise me that it is only now that your feelings are starting to surface. I was exactly the same, I kept going through the motions of the physical recovery, but once that started to improve the emotional impact of suffering a life threatening emergency, reduction in future fertility and the loss of my baby really started to hit home.

Be kind to yourself at this stage, allow time for the emotional recovery as it is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others. One day you may be okay and the next you may be in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body signals. Pain and feeling tired are your body signals to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy diet drinking lots of water and resting.

There is no set timeframe for emotional recovery. There are no “musts” or “shoulds” or deadlines. Grieve as you wish and cry, vent, release your emotions as you need. Recovery is not always a smooth path, however. With time though, I began to accept what had happened and, although we never forget, it is something that is a part of us that we learn to live with.

many colleagues at the Trust suggest writing in a journal to help process the many elements. It can help focus to understand what happened and help to get the words out of your head and bring attention to all of your feelings.

I like taking time for mate and going on short walks, you may prefer to be with close friends or family at this time. There is no right or wrong way here, do what helps you.

We of course will be here for you for as long as you need.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

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