Hi everyone. My ectopic pregnancy was unplanned yet it still seems to have really taken its toll on me. I had to have surgery and have my right Fallopian tube removed. This was around 2 and a half weeks ago now.
Everything was a massive whirlwind. From finding out my “trapped wind” was actually an ectopic pregnancy to actually having the tube removed just seemed to happen so quick - and then sent home less than 24 hours after surgery. I know this is normal but it feels so fast.
Anyway. 2 and a half weeks later I’ve finally started driving again and my stitches are beginning to dissolve. I physically am starting to feel normal. However. My emotions have suddenly hit rock bottom. I am unbelievably low and have been put forward for counselling, but the waiting list is 12 weeks. My relationship is kind of breaking down because of my irratic mood - one moment I want to be alone - next moment I need people around me… the sadness comes in unpredictable waves. I can be completely fine and then the world is crumbling.
I don’t want my post to be a downer, but I’m looking for others who maybe are in a similar boat as me who are experiencing really low moods - what kind of things have you found help you? I have a great group of friends who are so supportive and my family have been great too. I find talking to them (literally repeating the same thing) has been really helpful but I need some strategies for when I’m alone. All I’m doing at the moment is comfort eating and watching tv. Does anyone have any other, potentially healthier, suggestions?
Thank you, and if you’re reading this and you’re the same as me - at least we’re not alone! Xx
You’re not alone! I’ve written several threads like this. The first month after discharge I found my emotions went loopy, crying bc I couldn’t change my number on telephone banking to empowered and philosophical about this unplanned pregnancy the next. It’s honestly normal though you’ll feel you’re going insane.
I had to realise I needed a break (I had a different treatment plan, less invasive but I had 48-72hr monitoring for 7 weeks which would go good news/bad news/surgery/nope) and I succumbed to the fact I needed to rest. My brain needed to process the magnitude of crazy my life had become.
I found it helpful to do small things each day that seemed productive. On my time off I got the house tidied decluttering, sometimes just choosing one or two items to throw. Give yourself credit for having a bath, or making a meal.
I found eating healthy and taking some nutritional supplements gave me a focus and made me feel in control.
I’ve had some gynae issues since so physically not been A1 but I slowly started trying to go out for a 5 or 10min walk.
This thing brought about the most insane form of not wanting to be around people, I just did not fancy or get enjoyment from the same things. But having a walk and fresh air is surprisingly beneficial.
I’m still on the road to being back to where I was and I’m 5 months down the line but it does get easier and certainly after discharge I seemed to have 2 weeks of crazy emotions and another 2 more of not great but then it got lots better.
Remember your pregnancy hormone and everything else has suddenly dropped. It’s a rollercoaster and normal x
Hello. I recently had an ectopic pregnancy, I was fortunate enough not to have had surgery and it was managed through monitoring for just over a month before I was discharged but I have still found it so hard to come to terms with. I am so relieved to have signed up and read your posts. I don’t feel so alone anymore.
My anxiety is through the roof, I am worried about being alone and just feel so low at the moment.
It’s so comforting to know my feelings are not outrageous.
Wishing you all the best. I know it will get easier in time but it is so hard to see the end of it right now.
Xx
Hello
Thank you for posting I have a very similar situation. I am 3 weeks post surgery of removal of one tube again all a whirlwind. My incisions are healing well and the soreness is getting easier. I have started driving this week which feels good but then insecure.
My emotions are all over the place one moment I’m fine the next I am staring into space and can’t concentrate. Friends and family have been great and talking really helps but it’s when I’m on my own or the evenings with the husband I struggle.
It’s the what ifs and what’s next…
Xx
You’re definitely not alone. I had emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy in September and also had my right fallopian tube removed. I was rational the first couple days following the surgery but my emotions spiraled out of control shortly after. I have breakdowns periodically and the closer I get to my would have been due date, the tougher it is. I wish I had some sound advice for you, but, at this point as I’m working on trying to confront what happened and control my emotions, I do not. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone ehen it comes to the mood swings/emotional breakdown. Healing takes time.
Hello,
I’m so sorry you’ve been through this -all of you who have posted. I was diagnosed last Friday @ 7 weeks pregnant. I had surgery to remove my right tube last Saturday so I’m still in a very low place too.
My friends and family have been amazing & my partner is my rock. I seem to go from feeling nothing, to crying out of nowhere, to feeling normal to this overwhelming feeling of hurt. From what I’ve read it’s completely normal & as shit as it is we just have to ride it out - it can’t rain forever, the sun will shine again.
My plan is to have some counselling & to take walks and eventually build up to exercise & a good diet. I had a miscarriage in December and I am battling the awful thought of what if it happens again so I think the counselling is a good step.
I don’t know if that helps at all but that’s how I’m trying to manage it. We know how you feel & you are far from alone. I guess it’s small steps and remembering however your feeling is ok and valid.
Big hugs xx
Dear teirrah,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
It is good to hear that you have been referred for counselling but I am sorry to hear about the wait. If you or any of the ladies who have answered this post require any additional support we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team