Hi all I thought I would share my story I have a grown up son who is 18 I met my partner when I was 20 we married and tried for years to conceive nothing happened after investigation laparoscopy i was told i had clubbed tubes so i had got my head around the fact I wouldn’t have any more . Many years later aged 36 I found out i was pregnant I was so shocked but the next day I had spotting and pain in my lower back and side so I went to a and e due to the covid nightmare my husband was not allowed in I had scan on my own was rushed to theatre and back to a ward I felt numb like it was a dream . Post surgery I feel devastated never had I wanted something so bad a flicker of hope to be taken away I feel like why would I have been given a gift to have it ripped from me my heart has shattered to a million pieces some days I feel fine but then I find myself just bursting into tears .
Dear D3nise36,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, to go through this alone must have been so frightening and my heart truly goes out to you.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally. You have friends here who understand and we will be here for you for as long as you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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I’m so sorry you had to go through this, it’s heartbreaking. Sending some love your way.