Dear Aimee,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
It is normal to experience some pain after ectopic pregnancy as your body has been through a great ordeal. The pain could be due to adhesions or scar tissue which formed as part of your healing. It could also be due to heightened awareness because of your sad loss. You may also be feeling ovulation pain (many women including myself never felt ovulation pain before the ectopic pregnancy and experience these sensations after). I think it may be worth keeping a pain diary to record when you feel the pain (including when in your cycle), its intensity on a scale of 1-10 and if anything helps such as rest, a hot water bottle, paracetamol etc. I would suggest keeping these notes for about 4/6 weeks and then seeing your doctors with this information as it would help them determine how best to manage your symptoms.
I understand that you do not want to be around medical professionals right now, but it is important to seek medical advice if necessary and especially important to be up to date with investigations such as smears. Do you have a GP you trust in your surgery that you would feel comfortable visiting?
If you want information about what happened to you to answer your questions, you could ask the Patient Advice Liaison Service (PALS) within your local hospital to help. If you do not feel you could attend the hospital, you could call and ask the telephone operator to put you through to PALS, have your general questions or concerns ready to discuss with them so they know how best to help you.
It is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. When trying to conceive we experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we do learn to accept what happened and begin to understand that it wasn’t our fault. It is a slow process - might be weeks or months ahead.
In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.
It maybe comforting to know that the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
It is generally possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy. The time it takes to conceive successfully after an ectopic pregnancy varies considerably from couple to couple. This can be affected by factors including age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have intercourse (sex). Unfortunately, we don’t have access to your and your partner’s medical records to comment on these, but it is usually possible to conceive and, overall, 65% of women are healthily pregnant within 18 months of an ectopic pregnancy. Some studies suggest this figure rises to around 85% over two years.
Generally, when a person has only one fallopian tube and both ovaries, they are still able to get pregnant from an egg at the opposite ovary as an egg from one ovary can travel down the tube on the other side. The fallopian tubes are not attached to the ovaries and, at the point of ovulation, some very delicate structures called the fimbriae begin to move gently creating a slight vacuum to suck the egg toward the end of the tube it is nearest to (like lots of little fingers waving and drawing the egg towards it). So, if you have only one tube then there is only one set of receptors working and one set of fimbriae creating a vacuum and so the egg is much more likely to find its way to that tube, whichever ovary it is produced from. Conservative estimates suggest that an egg produced on the tubeless side manages to descend the remaining tube around 15 to 20% of the time.
Sadly, it is not possible to stop an ectopic pregnancy from happening. Importantly, help is available with future pregnancies with an early scan at around six weeks gestation to check that the embryo is in the right place. We are here too for emotional support, as and when you need us.
Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us. There is a specific TTC board you can look at too whenever feel ready.
Sending much love,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.