6 months later...

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1

Hey everyone!

This is my first post on here. I had an eptopic pregnancy at the beginning of November 2017, after having surgery to have my right tube removed, I was 7-8 weeks into my pregnancy when I was rushed hospital.

I never really seeked support from anyone except my partner and I have just put on a brave “I’m fine” face since it happened but really deep down I’m still so upset, hurt, confused and lost. I thought I’d seek some support from others who have been through the same and how their body has changed afterwards. I think I also am finding it super hard as my sister in law is pregnant and we would have been due the same week.

My periods were always 5 weeks apart before I fell pregnant however now they have changed completely… I had my first period 8 weeks after my operation, then another 4 weeks after. The next didn’t come until 9 weeks later and finally I’d just came on again 6 weeks after my last.

Since coming out of hospital I’ve had really bad acne too, which I never had before, so I went to the doctors to see if they could help and they have given me some cream and tablets (not yet working) they have also done blood tests to check my hormones but they have came back fine.

I’m just wondering really what everyone has experience afterwards and how they are getting on and if they have any advice?

Thanks,

Paige xxx

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Hi Paige,

I’m sorry to hear what you have been through.

I had a similar experience. Early November, surgery, right tube removed. I was 11 weeks and 6 days. I still feel upset by it. I feel like people expect me to be over it but I’m not. I think I only really started to deal with it a few months ago, I felt really down, really alone. I’ve read a lot about grief and it seems to ‘fit’ with what I’ve read. And for you, you have the added hurt of your sister in law being pregnant. That’s understandably difficult. No one talks about your baby, and have probably stopped asking about how you are, how you’re coping? And you still think about it, every. single. day. I know I do.

I can’t comment on your periods. Mine returned to normal pretty quickly. But I have read that your body can take a while to readjust. I’m sorry that’s not much help.

Do you have someone you can talk to? I had counseling which was very helpful. The most important thing is not to hide how you’re feeling. Don’t say you’re fine if you’re not. Is OK, and completely understandable, not to be OK. You lost a baby and went through an emergency, life threatening situation, that’s not something you get over in a few weeks.

good luck with everything

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Hi MamaJoy,

Thank you so much for reply to my post. I’m so sorry to hear what you too have been through. It really is such a horrible thing.

Thank you for your kind words, I think over the past couple of weeks I’ve began to understand that I’m not alone and I’m starting to process that more now and move on with my life. Unfortunately my periods are a monthly reminder that things aren’t normal but I’ve booked in to discuss this with the doctor again. I read too that it can take sometime to get back to normal, I’ve also noticed my period pains are different now and quite painful, although I’m 7 months post surgery I’m hoping this will calm down soon and I can look forward to moving gorward and starting a family (although I’m still scared of it happening again) which I think is normal.

Good luck to with everything x

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Dear Paigeisobel1,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of diagnosis, surgical treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Your periods can take a while to get back to a rhythm that is more usual for you. I also found that my periods changed for a few months after my losses, hopefully they will begin to settle into a rhythm that is more normal for you.

Be kind to yourself, allow time to grieve to heal both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love,

Karen x

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Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

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