Just over 2 weeks ago we went for a private scan only to be told that there was no sign of baby. We was sent straight to EPU where I had bloods done and the following day a sonogropher did 2 different scans to find I had an interstitial ectopic pregnancy in my right fallopian tube. I was kept in and operated on the following day wher my right fallopian tube was removed and now I’m finally back on my feet. Really struggling to deal with the loss at the moment. I already have a 15 month old boy and we were so excited to have an addition to the family. I already struggle with severe depression and this has taken a massive toll. I know its still so soon but I can’t help but have concerns on whether or not I’ll be able to conceive again and what the complications could be. What is the recommended time to wait before trying to conceive again? Not that I’m ready at all right now to even think about trying I just have no idea I just don’t know an awful lot about ectopic pregnancies
Dear Shannonneal,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with. Your emotions are completely normal, however as you have mentioned that you have suffered from depression, please speak to your Dr if the bad days start to outweigh the good.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget, but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.
Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time. While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.
As a gentle reminder regarding conceiving again, we and many medical professionals advise waiting for two menstrual cycles. It is important to allow time for your body to recover and emotions to surface and be worked through. This is so that you have some comfort that your body is returning to its natural rhythm and you have a last menstrual period date from which to date a new pregnancy - key information in checking you are not suffering from an ectopic pregnancy in the future. The first bleed soon after surgery for ectopic pregnancy is not classed as a period as it is the body’s response to falling hormone levels.
There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.
Please be kind to yourself allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Dear Shannonneal,
I’m so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. I too had an ectopic pregnancy and had my right fallopian tube removed at 7 weeks 3 days pregnant (I’m 3 weeks Post-op now) I had an appointment with my surgeon at 2 weeks Post-op, he told me my left tube looks good (he saw it in surgery) and that I can start trying after 1x cycle has been. He scanned me (transvaginal) and said all seemed to be healing well. Prior to this I have had 2x miscarriages and I have no children. I’m looking in to IVF as I am 36 now and have been trying with my husband for 8 years to conceive now. I too have bad days and good days but I am back to work now and life is becoming a little normal again for me. I wish you a speedy recovery and I want you to remember that you are not alone and if you need any support or advice there are many forums out there. Sending you love & Support, Lisa