Worried that it’ll never happen for me

Yesterday we found out that at 5 weeks, our pregnancy was ectopic. Although the pregnancy wasn’t planned it wasn’t unwanted and we felt so ready together.

The pain was unbearable on Sunday and I knew something was wrong and when they confirmed the ectopic to us yesterday my heart was broken. I feel so angry but more so just so worried that it’ll never happen for us now.

Currently the ectopic is being treated conservatively so I have kept both my tubes. All I want is the 3 months to come now so we can try again but I’m so worried it will never happen successfully and what if we never conceive again.

Everyone is telling me that people do go on to have successful pregnancies after an ectopic but I don’t know anyone that this has happened to to talk too.

Has anyone known anyone who has gone on to have a successful pregnancy even when they’ve kept both tubes although the doctor said there could be some damage to the affected tube. My heart feels like it’s on a rollercoaster of emotions right now

Dear Natalie,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss,

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, possible reduction in fertility and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

To reassure you, these boards are filled with lots of people who go on to have successful pregnancies following ectopic pregnancy. I am also one of them. My first pregnancy was ectopic, treated with methotrexate. I did not know if there was any damage to my tubes as it is not usual to have follow up scans in the UK. My next 2 pregnancies were successful, although this is just my story,I hope that it reassures you in some way, that it can happen.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s a good 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

It is important to book in for an early scan as soon as you know you are pregnant by contacting your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away. If you cannot self refer, contact your doctor/GP who will be able to arrange this for you.

Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us.

Please be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love,

Karen x

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I’m so sorry to hear about you’re experience! I myself having gone through an ectopic (treated the same as yours) and am in constant about it happening again. It crosses my mind every time we go to conceive.

I will say, I went on to have a pregnancy that wasn’t ectopic afterwards. This pregnancy did end in a miscarriage after 6 weeks, but my Dr. says that unfortunately miscarriages are fairly common (almost every one of my friends has sadly had at least one).

On an even better note, my aunt had an ectopic pregnancy and went on to have four healthy pregnancies!!

It has given me lots of hope hearing her story. I’m hoping it does the same for you!