Thinking about why it happened

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
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My first ever pregnancy after two years of trying was Ectopic in June. Since then I’ve been reading up on the risk factors of Ectopic pregnancies. I know that some people say it’s just bad luck but this website says ‘Ectopic pregnancies occur due to some underlying damage to the fallopian tube’ so I’m trying to figure out why this happened to me.

I’ve read the possible risk factors on this website and luckily none of them apply to me apart from one and that’s only because I’ve never been tested for it so how can I be 100% sure?

The one I’m not sure about is PID (pelvic inflammatory disease) which is caused by an STD like chlamydia. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think I’ve got that but I’ve never had a STD check. Now I feel guilty and stupid for never getting checked out and feel like it’s my fault. Me and my partner have decided to try again after I’ve been taking folic acid tablets for 12 weeks but I feel like I want to go to the doctors and ask for a Chlamydia test just so I’ve got piece of mind before we start trying. That way I will be 100% certain that I don’t have any of the risk factors and it was just very bad luck.

Has anybody else had these ideas in their heads? I don’t even know where to ask for the test would I just go to my GP and explain what’s happened and see if they will test me?

Sorry for the question about STD’s I wish I didn’t have to speak about it but I’ve got so many questions going around in my head. Also I’m 29 and have only ever had 2 boyfriends so I don’t sleep around.

Plus I had an ovarian ectopic pregnancy and because there so rare there’s never any info on them specifically online.

Thanks xx

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Sorry for your loss.

Getteing checked is a great idea. I would find a ob/ gyn doctor if you dont already have 1. You should get a annual check up and just verify that they will do a full STD test along with a pap smear. It just nice to know your status even if you dont sleep around.

1 of you 2 partners could have passed a STD to you

  1. by having it before you and not getting check or

  2. by stepping out

Im married and believe 100% my husband is faithful but i get a yearly pap smear and ask for STD testing as well. Its just nice to know and not assume.

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Dear Sunshinewalk88,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.

As you have rightly said, there are common risk factors for ectopic pregnancy however many women, including myself, do not have any risk factors.

I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame.

Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

It maybe of some comfort to know that the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.

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Thank you both for coming back to me I really appreciate your advice xx