I had key hole surgery to have my left tube removed around 5 weeks ago now. This is my second ectopic pregnancy.
My first was around 2 years ago and I had the option to take methotrexate which I did. This time was very different, the pain was horrendous and I was taken in for an emergency as my tube has started to rupture. I was around 8 weeks this time.
Physically I’m healing well and most of the time I feel okish.
I went back to work this week which took a bigger toll than I thought it would emotionally. But nights are exhausting, I’ve never had trouble sleeping but I find myself crying and sometimes just laying there staring. When I do close my eyes I often find myself back in that hospital room.
Is this normal? I feel so tired and like I’m going a little nuts.
My partner keeps telling me that I should be looking at the positives and that I’m still here etc which I really am but all I can think about is how much I wanted that baby. More than anything.
Dear Kirsty,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy losses. To experience one loss is difficult, dealing with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart goes out to you.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency, its treatment, concerns over the future and future fertility and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
It is common for the emotional impact to hit once the body and mind have finished focusing on the physical impact of treatment and recovery.
Experiencing ectopic pregnancy can be a very traumatic experience and it can take up to 3months to even begin to process trauma such as these. There has also been research that suggests that 30% of women who have ectopic pregnancy, go on to develop Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) symptoms and these can include irritability, lack of concentration and sleep and flashbacks. Lack of sleep can also affect physical and emotional recovery, so i would advise speaking to your GP surgery to see how they can help.
Some people also find that journaling is a way to sort the thought process and find it helpful to put things in order for the brain.
We also have email support or a telephone call back service if you wish to speak to someone on a more personal level (details below). We shall simply be here for you, however you need, for as long as you need.
Sending much love and gentle hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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