Hi, new here. Currently lying in my hospital bed having had surgery for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy in my right tube. They have had to remove the tube too. Not sure how to process as I only found out I was pregnant on Tuesday as had a post endometriosis laproscopy follow up from surgery in March and mentioned I was spotting and cramping after a period (wasn’t a period as turns out). Was booked for a scan today (Thurs) to investigate and there was a mass that was suspicious and my cramping and pain had become severe on right side. I have a little girl but we call her our miracle as my fertility is poor due to endo and has taken 3.5 years with no luck till now. I tried not to get my hopes up and plan due to the bleeding but I couldn’t help it and so I’m heartbroken and in pain and upset about my lost tube too. All of this is happening as my husband has started training for his dream job and feel guilty he has been pulled away for me for right now too. Any kind words or advice on how to help my brain would be much appreciated.
Hi Hanban892,
I’m sorry to hear about your experience, ectopic pregnancy, and loss. You have had a massive physical and emotional upheaval, and recovery from ectopic pregnancy will take time. Everyone’s path is unique to them, and there is no set timeframe for emotional recovery. There are no “musts” or “shoulds” or deadlines. Grieve as you wish and cry, vent, and release your emotions as you need.
I found that the first few months were the hardest, as I didn’t fully understand why it happened to me. Slowly, the darkest clouds lifted, and I had some ok days and even some good days again. Recovery is not always a smooth path, however. With time though, I began to accept what had happened, and, although we never forget, it is something that is a part of us that we learn to live with.
Your ectopic pregnancy was so recent, and it is still early days in your recovery. For me, I found that writing in a journal did help to process the many elements. I recalled elements of the hospital and recovery and found myself thinking about the family and friends who reached out with support. It helped me to get the words out of my head, and eventually share them with my partner and close friends.
Please allow yourself all the time and space you need to heal and know that you have a supportive environment here for as long as you need. We are here for you any time. These boards are a safe environment to let off steam among people who have been there and understand. Please continue to do so as often as you wish.
With good wishes,
Michele
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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Hello,
I’m so sorry to hear of your awful experience. I also had a ruptured ectopic with tube removal. That was over a year ago, and although my body healed fairly quickly I am just getting back to normal emotionally. Time is your friend now, emotions will ebb and flow from day to day, sadness, pain, anger, sorrow, questions why and how this happened to you, just try to be kind to yourself. Talk with your other half, about how you both feel, daily if you can just to check in and support each other, confide in friends and online forums like this, take time for yourself when you have it, its going to take a while to process and accept this. Very best of luck, you will get there, its just a long journey, but you can do it.
Take care, xx