Feeling heartbroken and don’t think I can cope

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Have just come back from yet another visit the EPAC clinic!

Last year I had two ectopics, one in may resulted in an emergency situation and losing my left tube. Then October the news I was pregnant again, but felt those all to familiar pains and another ectopic in the right tube. Surgery to remove the pregnancy and tube saved. Fast forward to July this year and pregnant again! A couple of weeks in familiar pain! Went to hospital last Monday, they scanned me and found I was having an Heterotopic pregnancy and could see a viable pregnancy in the uterus, but the ectopic had ruptured my remaining tube! Surgery that afternoon to remove my tube. Clinging to the miracle that was in my uterus. Over the weekend I miscarried, have been in today to confirm. So now I’m lying here broken with the loss of two babies in a week and my chances of having a baby broken. I am lucky to already have a gorgeous 6 year old girl (everyone tells me I’m lucky to already have one) but also feel like I’m dying today inside. Really don’t know if I can get through this time! Sorry for the long post!

Xx

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Dear Rach83,

Rach, I am so, so sorry to hear this news, experiencing one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses and the impact this has had on your future fertility is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

You have every right to feel sad at this time, but if you feel you aren’t coping and cannot carry on I would strongly urge you to seek help via talking therapies.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

However, If you feel very down charities such as the Samaritans can help.

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-h … contact-us

I really am sending so much love and warm hugs,

We will all be here for you for as long as you need,

Karen x

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.

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Hi Rach

I am so so sorry for what you’re going through.

I know how you feel. You are not alone. Don’t forget that. x

I’ve had two ectopics and have had both my tubes removed. I had my second ectopic in February this year and I’m still very raw. I think I will be for a very long time. I’ve learnt new coping techniques.

What keeps me going and gets me out of bed every single day is my amazingly adorable 2 and a half year old son. He is my world.

You must grieve. That is natural. We have lost an integral part of what makes us have babies… but, have hope. You will get pregnant again. I know it’s a longer road, but it can happen.

I’m starting IVF next month and I’m nervous but excited. I’ve joined a fantastic IVF support group and it’s amazing the amount of women having Ivf who have had both tubes removed.

You are not alone. I’ve been told by my gp to see a counsellor. I think I will. It will make me feel and put things in to perspective.

Rach, speak to your gp. I remember just sitting down with mine and crying. I found their support brilliant.

Stay strong,

You will get through this,

Sending you lots of love x

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Hi , ive had two ectopics and a miscarriage the 1st 6yrs and the 2nd 4 year ago with a miscarriage too . Lost one tube . I’m still struggling with it . I do have one daughter who is 9 . Everyone say a least you got one . That dose not help at all . I’ve been so scared to try again in case it happens again, I shut down in always . My relationship of 11years has broken down . I’m stuck . The world is turning but I haven’t moved on . Ive asked for a Hysterectomy so it couldn’t happen again but no joy . Don’t think I could have sex again. I have so many thoughts going through my head . I would like to go to a meeting with other people in the same boat but finding it really hard to find anywhere . Big hugs x