6 months after ectopic

My self and my partner started trying for a baby for the first time ever last summer, and I fell pregnant instantly. We couldn’t believe our luck!

I got to 8 weeks having experienced everything I would normally seem to expect from a normal pregnancy, except I couldn’t quite ever believe I was pregnant. I did 7 pregnancy tests to make sure. Somehow something wasn’t right though.

At the 8 weeks point I had a very small watery bleed, which terrified me, so I went to A&E to report it. They said as I was in no pain and my urine seemed clear for any infections, they weren’t worried. Long story short though, I had to go to another late outpatients that night, and they said nothing was obviously wrong, but just to be sure I should go to the early pregnancy clinic to have a scan to check all was well.

I went 2 days later when it was open, and the doctor did another pregnancy test telling me it was a very strong positive. So they sent me in to the scan where I thought I was going to see my baby.

When I got in there however, the sonographer told me there was no baby. She couldn’t see anything at all, and either I’d somehow got the dates wrong or I’d lost the baby, but there wasn’t much blood.

I was sent in to another room, and eventually told they didn’t understand the scan. They then gave me the possibilities that either it was too small to see, I’d had a miscarriage, it was a molar pregnancy or it was ectopic, but they had no way of telling yet.

They took some bloody to check my hcg levels which was going to tell them whether there was a need for concern or not.

That evening, they rang and told me to go strait to A&E because my hcg levels were very high (about 1100 I think) so they needed to admit me.

When I got there it took hours of waiting in a hospital bed to get put in to my ward having no idea what was going to happen and not allowed to eat in case I needed surgery.

When they got me on the ward, they finally let me eat something at 11pm and the doctor didn’t turn up until 1am. She told me very fast and with little feeling, they didn’t understand what was going on, I was going to have a scan in the morning but they may need to perform a laparoscopy, and if it was ectopic they will remove a tube, or if it all goes wrong they will have to give me a hysterectomy. She also left me a leaflet about molar pregnancy which was horrendous. She then left me with my tears and terrified thoughts.

The next morning 2 doctors spent nearly an hour scanning me to find the baby, but they still had no ideas. The only new information was they thought that it was possibly twins and one might still be in the womb, but that only added to the list!

So in the end they had to just operate to have a look and that was that. The way I got to find out that it was indeed ectopic was when they woke me up and I heard the surgical team telling my recovery nurse it was ectopic and they’d removed my left tube. Devastated didn’t come close. It was like it wasn’t me, but I was watching me.

It’s been 6 months and we’ve been trying again for 5 months with no luck. But to be honest, I spent the first 2 months being terrified it’ll happen again, and being an emotional wreck. My body isn’t doing what it used to and my cycles are crazy. I’m having two periods a month now (although apparently it’s could be something to do with the pre cancer cells I’d had removed on my cervix the year before-so that’s being investigated). My periods are heavier, my emotions are all over the place, and my symptoms of my periods coming are almost exactly like being pregnant. It’s heartbreaking.

I’m still struggling to get over it and finding I’m bursting in to tears when I get moments to myself and I’m sad for losing my little one. I’ve never blamed myself because I know it’s not my fault, but I’ll never forget that I once had a little one in there. That was my first ever pregnancy and I’d had no symptoms or pain from the ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully it didn’t rupture.

Sorry for the essay, but has anyone else done better after 6 months?

Hi,

I have just read your post and wanted to reply as I remember the feelings you describe. I had a miscarriage in 2015 and a ectopic in 2016. I also had a tube removed and I found this very hard to deal with. I had MTX before the surgery and after this failed was operated on. I also found some medical staff as lacking compassion and family members too. I struggled emotionally with the loses and cried a great deal. However, i wanted you to know it does get easier (although I have never forgotten these pregnancies and still do have days when it upsets me). For me the counselling offered by my hospital was a lifeline along with the support of my partner. I couldn’t recommend counselling enough, it helped me to deal with the difficult emotions that I was feeling and made me not feel alone.

Since then I been blessed with a daughter who’s egg came from my tubeless side and was pick up my remaining tube. I had started to believe it would never happen but for me when I started to recover emotionally it did. I wanted to share my story and send you lots of love Xxx

Hi Lisa,

Your story and support has helped me a great deal, thank you!

I know there are lots of people who have been through what we have, but it’s a job finding them sometimes.

I was lucky enough to have so much love and support from my friends and family, so I wasn’t feeling too alone in some respects. I guess I just felt ‘empty’ for ages, but at least the emptiness feeling has gone, just the other stuff remains.

I have considered counselling as I have done that in the past, but I felt that reaching out on here was a good first step. I read so many stories today from other people, and the support from others was so lovely.

Thank you so much for sharing with me. I’m so happy to hear you ended up with a little girl! xxx

Hi,

I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through. I’ve been there and it’s just horrendous.

I had my first ectopic in December 2014 and in December 2015 I became a mum. I have a two year old son.

I remember becoming obsessed with getting pregnant again. I healed physically pretty quick but emotionally it was tough.

You need to mind yourself. It’s such a hard time.

You will get pregnant xx

I’m glad this forum is helping. I also found it very reassuring and helped me to know what I was feeling was normal. Happy to chat if it is ever helpful x

Thanks ooncb and Lisa_28,

It is very reassuring to hear from you both, and I can’t even being to tell you how much better I feel for hearing from you.

I am here to talk to anyone who needs it as well. xx

Dear M+12,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

When we experience ectopic pregnancy, we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We generally feel a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget, but we learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead.

In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

It maybe comforting to know that the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

Generally, when a person has only one fallopian tube and both ovaries, they are still able to get pregnant from an egg at the opposite ovary as an egg from one ovary can travel down the tube on the other side. The fallopian tubes are not attached to the ovaries and, at the point of ovulation, some very delicate structures called the fimbriae begin to move gently creating a slight vacuum to suck the egg toward the end of the tube it is nearest to (like lots of little fingers waving and drawing the egg towards it). So, if you have only one tube then there is only one set of receptors working and one set of fimbriae creating a vacuum and so the egg is much more likely to find its way to that tube, whichever ovary it is produced from. Conservative estimates suggest that an egg produced on the tubeless side manages to descend the remaining tube around 15 to 20% of the time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and I will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x


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Hi everyone,

My story is pretty similar I fell pregnant very quickly after trying. A week after my positive test I found myself in a&e having my right tube removed. I was devasted.

At the moment I am terrified for my future and desperately want a baby one day. I can’t seem to grasp how my chances of it re-occurring are now 1/10 even though both my tubes were confirmed as healthy (even the removed one).

I have heard a lot of stories of the opposite tube picking up the egg and being successful. But would love to understand how people know which side they ovulated? Is there a way I can find out? As of course this would massively help with conceiving successfully.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Hi,

I’m sorry to hear what you are experiencing. I know how hard and tough it is.

I found out what side I ovulated from at my 6 week scan to check my pregnancy was in the right place. I’m not sure if you can find out before then. I’m still amazed my daughter came from my tubeless side- I didn’t believe the doctor when I had my surgery that this could happen- she is our rainbow. I hope hearing this may help. Sending love xxx

Hi Lisa,

Thanks so much for the reply. i have never used a forum before so wasn’t sure anyone was reading.

That is incredible, the surgeons and nurses at the EPU told me this could happen and looking at a female anatomy diagram I wasn’t sure how it was possible! I told my GP about this and she even googled it herself during the appointment as she couldn’t believe it herself!

it is definitely re-assuring that this is possible, i wasn’t sure if there was a way to find out before you ovulate (so you can time the good side correctly) but thanks for confirming this was done through an early scan.

I am also a bit worried about the 6 week early scan being too late, as previously at 5 weeks my tube ruptured. Of course this makes me think I need even earlier next time! x

Hi Martha 1707,

I’m sorry I have only just seen this post from you, and even though it was now months ago, I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear what happened to you.

No one said to me about still being able to conceive from my tubeless side before lisa_28 said something.

I don’t know if you’ve managed to heal and try again? But I can tell you that usually you can’t do a scan earlier than 6 weeks because foetus is often too small to see. That’s not to say it’s impossible, but that’s what I was told.

I am still not getting pregnant, but I am still holding a small amount of hope. I am pretty much healed now though (although my body still does odd things that it didn’t do before). I hope you are too.

Best of luck. x