My self and my partner started trying for a baby for the first time ever last summer, and I fell pregnant instantly. We couldn’t believe our luck!
I got to 8 weeks having experienced everything I would normally seem to expect from a normal pregnancy, except I couldn’t quite ever believe I was pregnant. I did 7 pregnancy tests to make sure. Somehow something wasn’t right though.
At the 8 weeks point I had a very small watery bleed, which terrified me, so I went to A&E to report it. They said as I was in no pain and my urine seemed clear for any infections, they weren’t worried. Long story short though, I had to go to another late outpatients that night, and they said nothing was obviously wrong, but just to be sure I should go to the early pregnancy clinic to have a scan to check all was well.
I went 2 days later when it was open, and the doctor did another pregnancy test telling me it was a very strong positive. So they sent me in to the scan where I thought I was going to see my baby.
When I got in there however, the sonographer told me there was no baby. She couldn’t see anything at all, and either I’d somehow got the dates wrong or I’d lost the baby, but there wasn’t much blood.
I was sent in to another room, and eventually told they didn’t understand the scan. They then gave me the possibilities that either it was too small to see, I’d had a miscarriage, it was a molar pregnancy or it was ectopic, but they had no way of telling yet.
They took some bloody to check my hcg levels which was going to tell them whether there was a need for concern or not.
That evening, they rang and told me to go strait to A&E because my hcg levels were very high (about 1100 I think) so they needed to admit me.
When I got there it took hours of waiting in a hospital bed to get put in to my ward having no idea what was going to happen and not allowed to eat in case I needed surgery.
When they got me on the ward, they finally let me eat something at 11pm and the doctor didn’t turn up until 1am. She told me very fast and with little feeling, they didn’t understand what was going on, I was going to have a scan in the morning but they may need to perform a laparoscopy, and if it was ectopic they will remove a tube, or if it all goes wrong they will have to give me a hysterectomy. She also left me a leaflet about molar pregnancy which was horrendous. She then left me with my tears and terrified thoughts.
The next morning 2 doctors spent nearly an hour scanning me to find the baby, but they still had no ideas. The only new information was they thought that it was possibly twins and one might still be in the womb, but that only added to the list!
So in the end they had to just operate to have a look and that was that. The way I got to find out that it was indeed ectopic was when they woke me up and I heard the surgical team telling my recovery nurse it was ectopic and they’d removed my left tube. Devastated didn’t come close. It was like it wasn’t me, but I was watching me.
It’s been 6 months and we’ve been trying again for 5 months with no luck. But to be honest, I spent the first 2 months being terrified it’ll happen again, and being an emotional wreck. My body isn’t doing what it used to and my cycles are crazy. I’m having two periods a month now (although apparently it’s could be something to do with the pre cancer cells I’d had removed on my cervix the year before-so that’s being investigated). My periods are heavier, my emotions are all over the place, and my symptoms of my periods coming are almost exactly like being pregnant. It’s heartbreaking.
I’m still struggling to get over it and finding I’m bursting in to tears when I get moments to myself and I’m sad for losing my little one. I’ve never blamed myself because I know it’s not my fault, but I’ll never forget that I once had a little one in there. That was my first ever pregnancy and I’d had no symptoms or pain from the ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully it didn’t rupture.
Sorry for the essay, but has anyone else done better after 6 months?