4 weeks post surgery, feeling lost

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1

hello this is my first time posting.

I just feel at a bit of a loss and although i have a very supportive partner i feel i have no one else to talk to.

4 weeks ago i had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy where my right fallopian tube was removed. I was around 7 weeks pregnant and so desperate for this baby.

I cried constantly for 2 weeks, i am now having bad days and better days but feel like I’m never going to get over this.

I feel in limbo about my future. The surgeon come to see me the morning after the surgery however i was alone and didn’t retain anything he told me. All i heard was that my right tube had been removed and that they removed a cyst from my left ovary and that i also had scarring on my left tube.

I so desperately want another baby but I don’t know if this will be possible

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Dear Becky22,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.

You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years. However if you have questions about what you were told by your consultant, I would advise speaking to your GP who may have further information on your discharge letter and can return you to a fertility specialist if they deem it appropriate.

Above all, be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

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