I went to the hospital 30/04/2025 thinking I was having a miscarriage however after a scan there was no sign of baby in in my womb but lots of pain. I was 6 weeks pregnant. After a pap smear it was concluded I was not miscarrying as my opening to the womb was closed. Within the space of two days, i had been told i was having surgery to look for the pregnancy and remove if found. They took the pregnancy and my left fallopian tube. My ovary was damaged but they saved it.
I am 23 and feeling lost and robbed and hurt and empty. I was considering termination due to my life and current circumstances but to have it ripped from me? I am angry but also feel i am not allowed to grieve as i wasn’t set on keeping and i just don’t know what to do.
Dear Lauren,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss.
It may not have been a pregnancy you continued with, but that choice was taken away from you and you have every right to feel sad or angry.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening diagnosis.and it’s treatment, concerns about the future and the sudden loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Please be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for you for as long as you need.
Best wishes,
Karen x
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Im trying to be kind to myself but its so hard. The things is i wasn’t set on keeping but i was leaning more and more to keeping my baby and it hurts knowing i had those thoughts and feels almost like karma for not being immediately over the moon. Im focusing more on my physical recovery as the emotional side i just can’t think of that right now
Hi Lauren,
This isn’t your karma but i know the feeling all too well.
11 years ago i had a termination where i felt immense grief & guilt- counselling really helped me through my experience.
3 months ago i had an ectopic pregnancy and now going through the grief again.
Both scenarios resulted in baby loss for me and from reading your post..you ARE ALLOWED to grieve in any baby loss situation, all the emotions are valid! It doesn’t matter what could have happened if you decided to continue or not but right now your feelings are valid and you are allowed to grieve.
The anger stage of grief takes its toll, go through the emotions and these forums are for us all who know the pain and emotions you are feeling.
In my anger stage i felt really loud music and screaming/shouting helps! Doing some activity that raises your adrenline and release any tension.
I hope this helps or if you want to talk anymore❤️🩹
Steph