Hello All. I had my first ectopic pregnancy in March of 2016. I went to the doctors for a routine well woman check up and found out I was pregnant. Weird, because I still menstruated through the 8 weeks that I was pregnant, so I had no idea. I did experience cramping, but I never had cramps, so I thought that it was just because my body was changing with age. After my appointment, I did have to go through emergency surgery. After my surgery, I didn’t have a lot of grief. It all happened so fast. I grieved, but I healed fairly quickly because I still had hope and because I knew I still had a chance of getting pregnant again.
Fast forward to this July… after finishing nursing school and starting my career, and found out I was pregnant. Like my first pregnancy, I still was still menstruating so I had no idea. I told my husband the news and we were excited that this was our chance at starting a family once again.
A week after finding out I was pregnant, I started spotting and I had little pain in my abdomen. I thought that this was implantation or just my body adjusting to being pregnant. I didn’t start worrying until I started feeling pain again. After dinner one night, the pain became unbearable and my husband took me to the ER. It was similar to the cramping that I felt during my first pregnancy, but worse. I knew something wasn’t right. Turns out, I was a lot farther along than expected 11 Weeks and 5 days along with identical twins, but it was ectopic. And again, I had emergency surgery.
The surgery went well, I’ve healed phyically, but mentally, I am not okay. I have no fallopian tubes and can not get pregnant naturally. I wanted to reach out to see if anyone went through anything similar and get help on coping.
I’m so sorry…my heart goes out to you… I’m not sure how you feel about counselling, when I was referred to the IAPT, I received a call had an assessment on the phone. The lady told me that there is a department that deals with pregnancy/ecoptic issues on the NHS… it may help if you contact your GP to find out…it can help.
I am so sorry to hear about all you’ve had to endure. My heart goes out to you. I know how ectopic pregnancies can so quickly and unfairly change our plans for the future. I’m glad that you’ve been able to reach out on these boards, and as Sonia has mentioned some resources, I would like to share some others which you might want to look into. We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process.
We operate a helpline service, and there’s no pressure, whatsoever, but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counseling services. The charity, Mind, may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Please know these boards are a safe space as well. There are posts which have discussed TTC after ectopic pregnancy, and are there for you for when and if you consider options such as IVF. No matter what we are here for you for as long as you want.
With good wishes,
Michele
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