Hello, i’m louise and im 26, my hubby is 28, we have a 3yr old daughter, and we had been ttc for 2yrs.
On the 26th oct i had “emergency” surgery for my ep.
The NHS’ management of whole of the situation was a shambles from start to finish, resulting in 4 seperate 5nite stays in hospital in under a month.
We only discovered i was preg, 2 days before the op, so to say we we’re shocked and devastated is an understatement.
In the past 6wks, my whole world seems to have fallen apart, first the ep, then my contract at work ended 2wks into my sick note, now we are having to apply for benifits, (which could take a while to go through), as my hubby was laid off in july, the landlord says he’s unsure he wants to renew our tennancy,(due to benifits situation) which, by the way, ends before xmas, and my hubby’s gran died yesterday quite unexpectedly…
How the hell am I supposed to feel?
I want to deal with the emotions I have for the loss of my precious baby, but I feel like I’ve been pushed into a fast flowing river full of other problems, and I cant come up for air.
7wks ago, my life was fab, we’d just come back from a great family hol, I was looking forward to going into a new job, and my little girl had her first day at nursery.
I just feel so disorientated. I admit, before my ep and loss of left tube, I was probably ignorant to fertility problems, and how heartbreaking it could be to find yourself in the shoes of these brave, strong ladies I’ve read about on here. I feel very humbled to even write this post, and share in this space that can be a sanctuary for so many women like myself.
My OH says its happened now, I should just get over it and get on with life, he says thousands of people go through it every year.
Its horrible, I feel like a lost little girl, I forget everything, I cant even get myself in and out of the bath, I’m dying to wipe the windows down but I cant strech, (OH forgets this when cleaning!), and I generally feel I have no control over my current situation. rant over!!
Am I normal?
I feel like I’ve gone mad!
Or did someone porform a labotomy while I was under?
Has anyone else felt simlar? lou x