I had a salpingectomy end of May after my right tube ruptured (methotrexate failed for me as the baby had a heartbeat until the end). Throughout the ordeal, I thought to myself ‘I can’t go through this pain and heartache again’. It was an extremely difficult time and I was sure I didn’t want children because of what I had experienced. But to my surprise (and my husband’s), I realised a few months back that I actually really wanted a baby, in fact more than before the ectopic pregnancy. My heart aches when I see a baby, I feel like a childless mother which is a very new feeling for me. This realisation gave me an odd peace sense of peace and direction, it was cathartic. I have since been working to rebuild my physical, emotional and psychological strength, I now had a goal. I decided a few back I was ready to try again.
I was feeling optimistic, hopeful and actually quite excited about the prospect of starting to try again. I am aware of the risks of reoccurrence in the remaining tube but had managed to get to a point of positivity and hope. However, I recently came across a medical article about the rare prospect of ectopic pregnancies happening in the stump of the removed tube. This has floored me and I am paralysed with fear. I read some medical papers and have learnt about how dangerous they are. I am so overwhelmed and feel like all my rebuilt optimism and hope that I too can have a healthy pregnancy one day has turned to dust. I was holding onto the statistic that I have a 90% of not having another ectopic instead of the focusing on 10% chance of reoccurrence. I don’t know what to do with this new risk I have learnt about and am frankly petrified.
I would appreciate any sort of reassurance and clarity on this risk. I can’t lose all hope again.